What does it mean to be a Cowboy?

I remember sitting at the kitchen counter as a little girl working on a homework assignment with my older sister. The question asked was "what is a cowgirl"? I couldn't be more than 6 years old and I was intensely curious and imaginative. I knew what a cowboy was as I loved Westerns. I watched Gun Smoke, the Big Valley, the Lone Ranger, and Bonanza. I played Cowboys and Indians with my friends. This question stumped me. What was a cowgirl? I had never heard or seen such a thing. I innocently looked up at my sister and said, "it's a cow that is a girl". Everyone in the room started laughing hysterically.

My whole life I was surrounded by horses, cowboys, and the assumption that only men could be real cowboys! Here is a picture of my brother when he was 7 years old on a horse. Why didn't I ever have chaps? I rode horses but instead of chaps I was given a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Outfit! Seriously, why didn't I have chaps? I played with the boys and was rough and tough just the like boys but instead I was treated like a little princess. I was literally given the fake plastic heels with a princess tiara and a magic wand. I didn't want no magic wand! I wanted to be a cowboy! From what I remember watching westerns most of the women were characterized as sexual beings who were there to show off their voluptuous bosoms and tiny waists in their corset dresses or short shorts. There were very few female characters who were fierce, fully clothed, and outspoken! Most of the women were one extreme or the other either like seen in the Big Valley, Barbara Stanwyck wearing blouses which buttoned up to her jawbone and Linda Evans portrayed for their sexuality.

I am a fiercely determined stubborn and some may even say an intimidating woman. I finally saw myself reflected in a female lead character when I watched Yellowstone. Beth Dutton was my hero! While critics want to say she is a sociopath; I would argue she is a bad ass! We are not used to seeing women who speak their minds, who are intelligent, resourceful, and tough! We are used to women who run to arms of their knight in shining armor, not Beth! She fights back with wit, humor, and sometimes her fists. I'm certainly not condoning this behavior however to be a rancher you need to be tough! Everyone is out to take your land, property, cattle, and your legacy. What makes Beth so fierce? I would say her trauma of course. She was raised in a world where one must fight for everything they have, own, and to protect their land, heritage, values, and legacy. She was raised by a manly man who lost his wife suddenly in tragic accident. All this trauma can harden a person. Yet we still see a softer side to Beth. She gives us a glimpse of her true vulnerability in her relationship with her man, Rip. He allows her to be who she is and in turn he is allowed to be who he is. We are not used to women who were abused and traumatized surviving and being so brazen, brave, and independent. We are used to women who are sad, depressed, needy, and curl up into a ball wanting their lover to hold them and make sweet love to them to heal them, to save them. Not Beth! She needs no savior.

We are not used to seeing these sorts of tough women portrayed as cowboys. We are used to scantily clad Sarah Connor types whose sexuality is used more than her wit! Sure they are tough but they have a tough counterpart who saves them or is sent to protect them. What makes you think a tough woman can't protect herself? We try to tear tough women down and say they are sociopaths. I would argue Beth Dutton is the female version of her father, John Dutton III, who is characterized as a rancher. He who will do anything to protect his family. He is considered a fierce leader, sometimes difficult but a man of tradition. In my opinion Beth is her father and her determination makes her a COWBOY! I believe if Beth were a man and we called her Bob, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. We would say Bob is one hell of a rancher! He is a fierce family man. And all the little boys and men would want to be just like Bob. I like Beth Dutton! I embrace her character as a fierce woman who is made in the image of her rancher dad! She is more of a man than some men! She is willing to face fear and stand up to those who try to erase her. Here's to all the bad ass female Cowboys! You don't need a man to survive, just a horse or a nice Mercedes like Beth's to get you where you need to go! A little money helps and a work ethic where you are willing to work hard, play hard, and get the job done! I hope to post a picture of me in my chaps on my horse and then in cute little black BMW. It's coming, just not yet.